可能我們很多留學生都會以為把句子寫的越長越好，其實不然，一旦有這樣的想法進行海外paper寫作的時候就會犯一個很常見的錯誤——句子冗長（Wordy Sentence）。留學生們要記住，句子越長越好，也不是越短越好。那么如何判定你是否犯了句子冗長（Wordy Sentence的錯誤呢？任何長句可以修改為短句而你卻依然使用長句，那么你就是犯了“句子冗長”的毛病。大家會問，出現這個問題應該怎么辦呢？下文中HotEssay就告訴大家幾個方法，以此來避免在海外paper代寫中出現句子冗長的問題。

1. 去除不必要的詞 （Eliminate redundacies）
        Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist.
        修改之后：Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.
        Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin.
        修改之后：Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin. 因為 scribble 就有“匆忙”的意思。

2. 避免沒有必要的重復（Avoid unnecessary repetition of words）
        Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.
        修改之后：Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill.
        A study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (2004) studied the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.
        修改之后：A study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (2004) measured the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.

3. 空洞的詞組不要用（Cut empty or inflated phrases）
        We are unable to provide funding at this point in time.
        修改之后：We are unable to provide funding now.

以下總結了大家非常喜歡用的空洞的詞組（為了湊字數，左邊紅色的），但其實是可以選擇更加簡潔漂亮的詞組或者單詞的（右邊黑色的），希望大家在paper寫作的時候要注意。
        along the lines of like
        as a matter of fact in fact
        at all times always
        at the present time now, currently
        at this point in time now, currently
        because of the fact that because
        by means of by
        by virtue of the fact that because
        due to the fact that because
        for the purpose of for
        for the reason that because
        have the ability to be able to, can
        in light of the fact that because
        in order to to
        in spite of the fact that although, though
        in the event that if
        in the final analysis finally
        in the nature of like
        in the neighborhood of about
        until such time as until

4. 精簡句型（Simplify the structure）
        如果句型不夠直接，說話拐彎抹角，就要注意想想能不能換一種更加直接的結構，還要注意可不可以強化動詞，大家看看下面的句子怎么修改。
        The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits.
        修改之后：The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not estimate the company’s future profits.
        Investigators were involved in examining the effect of classical music on unborn babies.
        修改之后：Investigators examined the effect of classical music on unborn babies.
        There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution.
        修改之后：Another module tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution. 能不用 there be 句型就不要用。

5. 從句變短語，短語變單詞
        We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson.
        修改之后：We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. 非限定性定語從句變成了同位語短語。
        In the essay that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s claim that we should not lie under any circumstances, which is a problematic assertion.
        修改之后：In this essay, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s problematic claim that we should not lie under any circumstances.

浩天教育提供看留學生各科目essay/assignment代寫，quiz/exam代做代考, online course網課代修代上，海外paper代寫服務。

暑假優惠活動火熱進行中，預約網課、寫作下單均可享受5%-10%的優惠！還在等什么，聯系我們的網站客服提交代寫代修要求吧！